Our friends at NBC Sports Philadelphia recently reported that the Phillies were making changes to their iconic mascot, the Phanatic. The Internet collectively recoiled in horror at the news, and rightfully so. The Phanatic is an icon, a paragon of mascotdom, the furry green troublemaker we all want to be when we grow up. Who among us hasn’t giggled at the lovable plus-sized Galapagos Islands native? The dude has a buggy with a hotdog cannon mounted on the back. Your mascot could never.

It’s only natural that these changes are being caused by lawyers (sorry, Craig). The Phillies and the designers of the Phanatic have been reportedly bickering for a few years about the rights to the mascot and subsequent payment for those rights. So, the Phanatic is getting a bit of a makeover that will theoretically circumvent the legalese. Remember kids, everything fun will eventually be sullied by legally binding contracts.

Our Philadelphia-based counterparts have now provided a look at the newly legally-compliant (golly that just feels so antithetical to having Big Philadelphia Energy) Phanatic. Feast your eyes:

The changes aren’t too bad. The Phanatic apparently went on a diet. Like everyone else in spring training, he’s in the best shape of his life. He’s also got new shoes and socks, and a shorter snout. His arms seem to be more… wing-like? All in all the new stuff isn’t atrocious, but it’s a devastating blow to everyone who loves furry green dad-bod pelvic thrusts.

This is one of those things that we’ll barely notice in a few years, but dumb changes like these stink. Give us the old Phanatic back.

Follow @StelliniTweets.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like

Everything to know ahead of NHL Draft Lottery

The 2020 NHL Draft should have been taking place in Montreal this weekend, but the COVID-19 pandemic changed the NHL’s plans. Now, on what should have been the night of Round 1, the league will hold Phase 1 of the…

Lee Moon Jin gets first Grand Slam gold in Abu Dhabi

Slovenia’s Olympic Champion Tina Trstenjak was the woman of the day on day 2 of the Abu Dhabi Grand Slam – flying through the preliminary rounds she took on multiple Pan American Champion Maylín Del Toro Carvajal, and secured a…

Predicted line-ups and team news for Chelsea vs Watford

Chelsea host Watford in another huge game at both ends of the table. The defeat at the London Stadium was as damaging for the Blues as it was for the Hornets, who are battling to beat the drop. Nigel Pearson’s…

Rashford reveals the position he wants to play in for Man Utd

Marcus Rashford has revealed that he would rather play out wide than through the middle for Manchester United. The 22-year-old England international has been used in both roles by Ole Gunnar Solskjaer this season and has flourished regardless: scoring 19…