Look, you know the deal. We’re in a global pandemic, and everyone has to do what they can to help other people. It might be shopping for your elderly neighbour, or it could be nailing your parents’ front door shut because they’re insisting if they stay inside “the disease wins!” Celebs are also pitching in: BTS are teaching Korean online, Natalie Portman is giving acting lessons and Joe Wicks is making horny mums pretend to like online workouts. But this is only the start. There are so many pop stars with valuable skills that could be imparted to the general public…

Mariah Carey: denial
Mariah Carey doesn’t have birthdays or age, she simply celebrates “anniversaries” of turning 12 years old. It’s getting a bit weird now, as her children are catching up (twins Moroccan and Monroe are nine this month), but honestly, wouldn’t we all be having far fewer panic attacks if we retreated into fantastical denial? Also: birthdays in isolation don’t count, right?

Enya: isolation skills
Notoriously reclusive Enya lives alone in a castle in Dublin, rarely appears in public and spends her days singing in a made-up language to her cats. And, castle aside, that’s basically 2020 vibes all round. Admittedly it’d be quite the U-turn for her to start giving out tips on how to survive isolation over Instagram Live, but in a rare interview five years ago, she revealed she got really into Breaking Bad. Feels like a good place to start.

Adele: pub banter
After months only socialising on House Party, we’ll all have forgotten how to interact when we’re finally allowed back in pubs. So draft in the A-list’s face of relatable normality, who everyone wants to go on a night out with: Adele. Imagine her reminding us that if we want to leave a conversation in real life, it’s not OK to pretend the wifi’s gone down and simply slam your laptop shut. When you’re in an IRL pub, you can’t help yourself from the fridge – and please, please wear clothes on your bottom half.

Ariana Grande: working from home style
Before recent events, the internet mocked Ariana Grande for living in oversized hoodies, always wearing her hair in a ponytail and mostly communicating by Twitter, but look at us now. Turns out she was actually a visionary.

Rita Ora: side hustle
Rita Ora never met a side project she didn’t like: from actor to model to TV presenter to fashion designer, she’s had a crack at everything, alongside what is ostensibly her actual job (mid-level pop star). She even joined The Masked Singer panel, despite not being able to name one celebrity who wasn’t her real-life friend. It didn’t matter! In these economically unstable, furloughing times, it’s good to be open to new things.

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